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In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

cooknut:

perchboo:

ebanji:

boys with pretty eyelashes

image

is that nash grier

prinxesvlynn:

socialjusticerougealevre:

australiansanta:

remember when people said smexy instead of sexy i literally cannot think of anything less sexy than the word smexy

Shmexy

DONT YOU DARE

snazziest:

paula deen cooking class

thirstfollower:

communistbakery:

thirstfollower:

I just got back from the dynamite factory

how was it

it was a blast

ofbard:

the box says “four servings” but my heart says one

pgay:

”if u like someone just tell them!!” yeah sure goodbye

maddehhey:

oprahsmom:

toocooltobehipster:

how is he posting this from 4 months in the future

this was taken in February

americans

foodchewer:

weallfloatonanyway:

foodchewer:

the best things in life take longest in the oven

babies

actually i was thinking about cinnamon rolls when i made this post

kingjaffejoffer:

When someone with stank ass breath talks to you really close

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

I’ve got
 

and
 

aint one